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The phrase “there are three sides to every story” suggests that there are multiple perspectives to consider when understanding a situation. These perspectives are often:
- Your side: Your own personal viewpoint, based on your experiences, beliefs, and biases.
- Their side: The perspective of the other person involved, including their feelings, motivations, and understanding of the situation.
- The truth: An objective view of the situation, which may incorporate elements of both sides or may reveal a different reality altogether.
This phrase encourages us to be open-minded and to seek out multiple perspectives before forming an opinion. It also reminds us that our own perspective is limited and may not be the whole truth. By considering all sides of a story, we can gain a more complete understanding of the situation and make more informed decisions.
I am a natural salesman. I started off as a waiter, moved to management, then selling software and hardware. At one time I was selling million dollar equipment for Lucent Technologies. I understand the importance of selling based on value. Justification is what you sell to your prospect. You have to convince them that the investment is necessary for the future of their company.
When I was on the Trump train, it didn’t feel right, but I made justification for being on it. For example, I would not put very much effort into researching him and ignore the opposite views of the man. This is not very logical. The reasoon I supported him for 6 years was that he was the only one to stand up to Hillary but I didn’t realize it was all staged. I made justification for it. I could handle the locker room talk, just as long as they stop spraying us and poisoning our food and water. But he is a Zionist. We can’t trust him.
The same thing goes for the leftists. They too, make justification for their candidates because the right has done so much damage to the people that they would rather have anything blue than red. I get it. But we need to understand this and not be so defensive. The left right paradigm is an old roman trick that has worked for centuries. It has to do with Cain and Abel. Cain was a liberal and Abel was conservative. They were at odds with each other thus the jealousy of God’s attention.
What we have to realize is that there are three sides to every story. Especially in America. There is the left, the right and those that see outside of both. I do not believe any sides are actually for their people. As we are witnessing with the backlash of Biden and his policies and the idea of Tariffs from Trump. Both men are against our country and work for the same team. It would be best to approach life as an observer without picking or taking a side.
An observer, who is unbiased and purposely removes themselves from being a part of a group has more opportunities to see the truth. The truth, although very subjective, can shine brighter without a bias. If we collectively looked at all of the policies that have been put into law over the last 100 years, we can see more cons than pros. Some will take the bad with the good just to balance things out. But that is just a bandaid.
Our jobs as humans are to think for ourselves. We are so easily manipulated by social mediums that since K12, we feel a need to fit in. Ever notice that the clubs are all the same to this day? Jocks, nerds, greesers/goth, hippies/band/drama geeks and such? Would it be far fetched to say this is by design to keep us divided from the beginning? There isn’t a unity class on how to bring everyone together is there? I don’t see it.
But we sure make justification for the division. Even throughout school, we defend our clubs and drink the kool aid. This fed with Cognitive dissonance which is a psychological state of discomfort that occurs when someone holds conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. The internal conflict that arises when someone’s actions or beliefs are inconsistent which happens when we watch a 15 second video or meme and assume everyone else agrees with it. People generally want their attitudes and perceptions to be consistent, so conflicting beliefs can cause feelings of unease.
And this happens when we pick sides and hear an opposing view. And to top it off, we choose to be willfully ignorant to history and actually do any studying. Willful ignorance is when someone intentionally avoids information or situations that would make them aware of facts that could make them liable or implicated. It can be personal, political, or professional in nature. Examples are not voting because you do not want to be a part of it. Everyone notices that the world is under attack by something but choose to ignore and just play along.
I chose to pull back from my own party 3 years ago because after decades of useless talk and draconian laws, the party never changed. I decided to take a big step back and analyze my surroundings. I noticed my arguments before were justification sales tools to get my way. I am good at that. I am an ex-narcissist. I had to learn how to keep my booze flowing by manipulating other people. Even 20 years sober, I am still working on leaving people alone.
But I wouldn’t have broken that spell if I didn’t make the decision to stop drinking. Just like I made the decision to pull back from the 2 party system. Drinking wasn’t working for me and neither does this system of control.
Willful ignorance can have many negative consequences, including:
- Personal growth
Avoiding uncomfortable truths can prevent personal growth and self-reflection. - Social progress
Ignorance about important issues can make it difficult to recognize problems and address them through collective action. - Public trust
When exposed, willful ignorance can damage public faith in leaders and institutions. - Ethical practices
Willful ignorance can enable businesses and governments to continue harmful practices. - Altruistic behavior
Research suggests that people who choose to be ignorant are less altruistic. - Selfish behavior
People may use their ignorance to justify selfish behavior. - Criminal liability
In law, willful ignorance is when someone intentionally avoids facts that would make them liable for a wrongful act.
Some reasons people may choose to be willfully ignorant include: Guilt, Selfishness, and Pressure to do what is expected.
Examples of willful ignorance in everyday life include:
- Ignoring information about the origins of products
- Avoiding facts about climate change
- Ignoring the harsh living conditions of farm animals
Cognitive dissonance happens to most people at some point. We can all engage in habits that cause harm to ourselves or the world, and that can cause cognitive dissonance.
Signs of cognitive dissonance depend on the situation, but they usually include feeling tense or adopting behavior meant to cover up or ignore the truth, including:
- Hypocritical behavior (the act of doing or saying something that contradicts beliefs or information that is known)
- Avoiding discussion and feelings about traumatic events
- Defensive behavior
- Avoiding facts to cover for a lie
- Seeking or spreading information that confirms an idea instead of learning or expressing the truth
- Repeating affirmations to the self or others to avoid a change in behavior
- Feeling guilty or shameful about acting in a way that doesn’t reflect the truth
- Emphasizing positive feelings to cover for a lie
And with all these issues comes justification. Justification according to Oxcford dictionary is used to talk about finding or understanding reasons for actions, or trying to explain why it is a good idea to do something. Can you imagine living in a world full of hate where you use cognitive dissonance and willful ignorance to close yourself off from the truth?
Philosophers over the years have addressed this:
Cognitive Dissonance:
- Plato’s Theory of the Soul: The tripartite soul (reason, spirit, appetite) suggests internal conflict when reason and desires clash. This aligns with the discomfort of cognitive dissonance.
- Descartes’ (DEE-KART) Methodological Doubt: Descartes’ systematic doubt challenges beliefs, potentially leading to cognitive dissonance as one confronts inconsistencies.
- Kant’s Categorical Imperative: The moral imperative to act rationally and consistently could be seen as a way to avoid cognitive dissonance, as it demands aligning actions with principles.
Willful Ignorance:
- Socratic Method: Socrates’ questioning technique encourages critical thinking and the pursuit of truth. Willful ignorance can be seen as a rejection of this pursuit.
- Nietzsche’s (NEE-CHUH) Concept of the Will to Power: Nietzsche explores the human desire for power, which can lead to selective perception and the avoidance of uncomfortable truths.
- Existentialism: Existentialist philosophers emphasize individual responsibility and authenticity. Willful ignorance can be seen as a failure to live authentically.
The world’s problems can be debated. How, why, who … To be able to debate these issues and try to do something about it, one would have to evaluate their own self and kill the ego. A person’s ego is their sense of self-esteem, self-importance, and how they see themselves and others. A healthy ego can boost self-confidence and help people overcome fears.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself with others is something your ego will always do. Once we compare our achievements and past performance with our present, we sometimes fall short. Our ego will punish us and make us feel useless, which can affect our self worth. Our self worth is subjective and should never be compared to others. Not comparing ourselves means that we shift our attention on becoming conscious about ourselves, and trying to destroy our unconscious habits (believing we’re superior and invincible).
Always stay a student
Put yourself in rooms where you are the least knowledgeable person. Observe and learn. That uncomfortable feeling you might get, that defensiveness that you feel when your deeply held assumptions are challenged? Do it often, and let that experience and feeling humble you. A physicist John Wheeler put it, “As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.”
Never complain
Negativity is the source from which self-hatred, self-sabotage springs – and our ego loves it. Challenge yourself to stop complaining for a week, even a month and notice what happens. Whenever you feel the urge to have negative thoughts, try to come back to gratitude / positive thoughts and see how life can open up for you. The ego always wants to improve on the current moment, which you will find yourself pointing out what’s all wrong. Don’t let it drag you down that path.
Surrender your need for control
We are not our jobs, we are not our achievements, we are most definitely not our egos. The second you let your ego control your life, you will never feel relaxed or happy. Your ego starts saying “it all must be done my way” – even little things. The solution is to recognize your limits and reaches. Learn to manage yourself and others. John DeLorean was a brilliant engineer but a poor manager (of people and himself). One described his management style as “chasing coloured balloons” – he was constantly distracted and abandoning one project for another. It’s just not enough to be smart or right. It may feel good being the egotistical boss at the centre of everything – but that’s not how organizations grow and succeed. That’s not how you can grow as a person either.
Although we all have that voice in our head, with these 4 tips we should be able to claim our control back and grow as a person. Your potential, the absolute best you are capable of – that’s the metric to measure yourself against, not comparing yourself to unrealistic measures.
If some of these are foreign to you, then you are facing some personal issues that need addressed. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it just means you are not practicing loving your neighbor. Jesus came for everyone. He sacrificed himself for everyone. Not one person on earth has done the same. Regardless if Jesus was real or not, the records indicate he was killed for helping others. He gained nothing. He wanted nothing.
If you want to let go of your ego and pride, that is the first step. You have to tell that part of you that is holding onto hate that you are no longer interested in carrying the memories. And we hold onto those memories because we feel no peace because those that hurt us have escaped persecution. An eye for an eye. Jesus didn’t teach that. He turned the other cheek if slapped as if to say, here, do the other side too if that will make you feel better. A selfless act of compassion.
This is the true meaning of being Christ like. It’s not following the law or commandments. It’s about wanting to make a change to help others. A want for that. Many recovering adicts and alcoholics find this place faster than most. The reasoning is, they learned all of this while in recovery. They studied and did workshops learning about how their actions affected others. They learned that the problem with the world isn’t others and their mistakes. It’s how we interpret the outside world. If we focus on pointing fingers at people, groups, companies, countries and parties, we lose sight of where the problem exists.
You hold the problem because it rents space in your mind. It wouldn’t exist if you werent taught there was one. For example, if you’re thinking of a political issue, you are the one that let’s it get to you. You think the world would be a better place if everyone would act like you. That is the god complex. You, being in charge of what you allow to harm you. Jesus made it easy to send that problem elsewhere. Jesus knows we are not mature enough to handle the world’s problems. He is trying to tell you to give it to him and let him worry about it.
That is the whole letting go and letting god thing control your life. You were born into a fallen world and your ego and god complex thinks it can fix it if people acted like you. That was given to you through programming, conditioning and mind control. It’s a great lie that you have the power to set the example. Your anger at everyone else proces it. If you stopped taking the responsibility of the world on your shoulders, you would find peace, even in the furnace.
And how do we let go of the anger? Or forgive those that really hurt us deeply? It’s back to the ego and god complex. You don’t have to rent space of any worry or fear in your mind. You have choices. Choose to be angry and bitter, then you’ll stay in the trap. If you want to, but can’t choose to let go of the world’s problems and those around you who you think are inferior to you your logic, then Jesus gives you a hand. Just say out loud that you are giving all of that to Jesus.
Jesus says surrender that ego to him and he will kill it. What happens is the return to everyday life. After this experience, a person returns to routine reality as they know it, although they might now approach it with a new perspective. Ego loss or ego death stays with a person for a very long time. This can have both positive or negative side effects, depending on the person.
Ego death is an experience in which you lose your sense of self by cultivating a deep sense of awareness.
As you go deeper into a meditative or psychedelic state, you might feel yourself becoming one with everyone and everything around you. While some characterize this experience as encountering their true selves, others believe it indicates there is no self in the way people traditionally characterize it.
The concept of ego death stretches back to the spiritual journeys of Buddhist, Sufi, Christian, Taoist, and other religious seekers. The term itself came from The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead by noted 1960s psychonaut Timothy Leary. He wanted to come up with a phrase capable of conveying what he and other psychedelic users experienced when taking high quantities of LSD.
What Causes Ego Death?
To lose their senses of self, people take measures others might find extreme or even dangerous. These are just a few of the main causes of ego death:
- Near-death experiences: A close brush with physical death often correlates to an experience of ego death. After someone undergoes such a stark trauma, they might claim they felt a deep sense of oneness and peace with the universe. Psychologist Stanislav Grof believes ego death is a flashback to the experience of childbirth or a preview of actual death.
- Psychedelic substances (this is cheating): Drugs like ayahuasca, DMT, LSD, ketamine, psilocybin or magic mushrooms, and other psychedelic drugs can all trigger ego death if a person takes a high dose. This always comes with the risk of inducing major negative side effects. Long-lasting paranoia and psychosis are all risks users assume when taking these substances. On the other hand, promising research indicates controlled experiences with these drugs in limited doses might have a positive effect on treating depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.
- Spiritual practice: In Buddhism, ego death is satori; in Sufi Islam, it’s fana; in mystic Christianity, it’s oneness with God after the dark night of the soul. Regardless of the tradition, ego death is synonymous with spiritual awakening. Through months of prayer, meditation, and spiritual practice, mystics of multiple religious traditions have sought (and allegedly achieved) the death of the ego through personal effort rather than the use of psychedelic substances.
How Ego Death Works
To undergo an ego death experience for the first time, many people turn to the use of psychedelic drugs. People have also achieved transcendence through their own dedicated spiritual practice. In either case, ego death works by short-circuiting aspects of your brain’s default mode network through intense experiences. Some studies indicate chemicals like glutamate and dimethyltryptamine (DMT) influence this process as well.
3 Stages of Ego Death
Every so-called ego death will feel different, but there are some key commonalities worth noting. Here are the most common stages of an ego death experience:
1. Dissolution: Prior to the ego death itself, a person enters an altered state of consciousness, either through sustained meditation or psychedelic drug use. Since so many of these substances double as hallucinogens, you might see sacred geometry and dreamlike imagery others won’t during this phase. Ego dissolution is jarring in its own right, as this is when you feel you’re losing your grip on conventional reality.
2. Ego loss: As the dissolution process concludes, a person feels a complete loss of subjective identity. For that matter, there will be no self able to feel this in a traditional sense—instead, there will be a sense of unity with the expansive fabric of reality. This could feel like a mystical experience of Nirvana or enlightenment. By contrast, it could prove disturbing to the unprepared.
3. Return to everyday life: After this experience, a person returns to routine reality as they know it, although they might now approach it with a new perspective. Ego loss or ego death stays with a person for a very long time. This can have both positive or negative side effects, depending on the person. Controlled psychedelic therapy or sustained spiritual practice is always a safer choice than experimenting with heavy-duty hallucinogens alone.
What Does Ego Death Feel Like?
Ego death experiences feel different to every person. Letting go of your sense of identity could feel like liberation and enlightenment. Others might find the experience disruptive to their mental health and well-being at the deepest possible level. Some believe it gives you a glimpse into your true nature, others believe it’s a state of drug-induced psychosis. Regardless of the circumstances, the experience leaves an indelible mark on anyone who undergoes it.
After this, you find there are definitely three sides to every story. And perhaps now you can practice loving your neighbor.
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